Kevan Smith – Innocent

The circumstance of his predicament was judgier than his preoccupation for procrastination and protestation.

Not knowing his own level of self-importance and ability to talk absolute bull shit, he looked upon the other occupants of the life raft with derision and disgust just as he struggled to understand their predicament.

The land, just peeking over the horizon, was coming closer with every stroke of the oars as they pulled in unison. Well, one side pulled in unison whilst the other flapped about wetting each other, clashed their blades with, quite random, synchronicity. The lifeboat kept meandering in long sweeping arcs with the horizon changing sides depending on who was pulling hardest on alternate sides of the boat. He had taken the position of coxswain and shouted the rowing commands to the timing of his present ear-worm song “Tubular Bells”.

Rowing and splashing as they bobbed along on the open ocean was completely comical, if not so serious, for it didn’t seem to create much progress and, try as they might, the boat danced across the waves like a drunken sea snake.

The crew decided it was time to take command and allow their Captain to sit down and have a rest as they selected someone of greater competence to assume the position of coxswain and, hopefully, keep a steadier rowing schedule. Now they seemed to be heading in a slightly straighter path and meandered in a vague direction of the distant shoreline.

The, now seated, Captain wondered what had happened since they started their much praised maiden voyage on his brand new, twin hulled Outremer 4x Catamaran. No one saw the ocean reef for they were all having such a wonderful time in the cabin drinking champers and quaffing down hors d’oeuvres to the extremely loud repeat song of Rod Stewart’s. He was partying just as much as his guests and simply didn’t see the ocean reef just below the wave tops. A mere cursory glance at the ocean charts would have easily highlighted and confirmed the reef.

Unfortunately, the brand-new Skipper of the “Innocent” didn’t bother with such onerous detail and precaution, thinking he was invincible since he won the $50Mill Lotto a fortnight ago.