Kevan Smith – Lemon

“It’s such an easy subject—fruit—I mean there are so many all around us.  They even name record companies after them.  And that singer, you know, the one that got shot for crossing the road with the other band members.”

“A band member called Lemon???”

“Yeah, he was famous for staying in bed with his girlfriend who couldn’t sing, the Japanese one.  Had a son called Julie.  Even wrote a song about him, you know the one.  He owned a submarine the same colour and even had a dolly called Eleanor, but she wasn’t a fruit, only lonely.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“His best mate was Paul McKathy.  You know him.  One of them even wore lots of rings and the last one ‘Harry’ something.  You know them.”

“I think they were entomologists …..or is that the name of a diabetic doctor?  You know them.  Poor George - that’s his name, George Harry - played that Indian thingy, you know, SEETARR.  Sometimes prayed to the some lord to get to know a girly.”

“Is the hospital picking you up soon?  You have escaped from somewhere, haven’t you?  I mean you are growing and smoking your own tobacco these days.”

“No man, I’m as Joker as a Snudge, honest I am.”

“It’s OK, just sit there for a while.  I’m sure they’re coming for you soon.  It’s OK.  Here, have a cup of tea.  Would you like a slice of lemon?”