Kevan Smith - Moving

This seat is so uncomfortable. My back hurts and my bony arse is never comfortable for even short periods, let along extended. And loud, they’re very loud! I know I’m semi-deaf but not from that bellow.

‘Sit up keep your back straight.’ I think to myself.

‘No, stop fidgeting, it disturbs the other people. This bloke, if he takes my armrest again, I’ll fart and smell the bugger out. Mind you with this din, no-one will hear but I think it will even overpower smell. Think of that, one sense so strong it quietens down others.’

I know when being disturbed one cannot focus on other senses. But LOUD kills off SMELL, please make it so!

“Make it so.” What! Are you Jean-Luc now? “To Infinity, and Beyond.” Hey, wonder if Picard ever met Buzz out there, or did the Enterprise ever fly past Tatooine and think ‘no life down there’.

Why didn’t the Empire become the natural enemy of the Federation?? Love to see Klingons punching the crap out of Jedi. Yoda, the other green goblin, have a go at Gollum.’ “To do, we shan’t”. Wonder whether Woody ever got a ride with Buzz to Infinity? Maybe, the three Barbies became his backing vocals.

Shuffle. ‘Look yah shit, it’s my arm rest, I’m 125 and you’re a fat ton of lard. Lean the other way.’

Harry fighting Sauron, or even the Princess Bride. Yeah, whack her! You think Andre the Giant ever had a go at Conan or maybe Terminator smacking Captain American’s shield across the back of his head.

“Oh, the concert’s over, hope everyone enjoyed it?”

They all stare blankly at me.

I guess sound doesn’t kill smell quite so well.