‘That’s grand’ says Jon. ‘What’s grand?’ asks Lucy. ‘It’s grand that it’s school holidays.’ – Jon ‘Why?’ – Lucy ‘’Cause I can go...

Grand, Grand, Grand Grand piano, grand rounds, Grand prix, Lost in the grandstands Lost Forlorn For instance For sooth (as in...

Why is a grand grand? It’s a grand night for singing. The moon is riding high... Such an old-fashioned term. It’s grand became it’s cool…...

- Fish can’t feel depression but what is the harm in thinking they do. - Perhaps they are just undiagnosed. - Could...

‘We don’t know anything about this girl. You can’t just go and marry her.’ ‘But Mum she’s a princess.’ ‘So she says.’ ‘Look, the Pintocratic Kingdom is right here. Here’s a picture of her.’ ‘Hm.’ Her Majesty gazes down her nose at the Wikipedia page. ‘We’ll test that.’ The next morning, the Queen greets the stranger whom her son had brought in out of a storm, and who claimed to be royalty from the Kingdom of Pinto. ‘How did you sleep?’ ‘Oh, terribly. The silk

She saw him standing with a dowdy looking woman. She had long brown hair, was short and overweight, in the worst clothes anyone could wear. What's wrong with him, Sandra thought to herself. He's fit, tanned, medium height and has a lovely kind smile. Who is that woman? His sister, friend, surely not his wife. He kissed the woman on the mouth, as a parting gesture, so surely not his mother, sister or just a friend. Sandra was determined to find out more. She loved mysteries an

What do I see in Ash? I don’t see much. I see a meat boy. Faffing around Meat puppet He is loyal. He is like my dog, the one I...

Penkethman’s Pest Exterminators. Peter Penkethman had built the business up from nothing. Not it was a household name. If you’re about to obliterate something you’ll ‘go the full Penkethman’ on it. ‘Call Penkethman’s on this one!’ goes the cry when there’s a right royal cock-up to deal with. Penkethman’s takes the town to the cleaners. Arachnids, aphids, bedbugs, caterpillars, roaches, rats, rabbits… The family business is responsive to community needs, and if Mrs Bramble has

Personality People love me or hate me – black or white. That is the way I felt about things when I was 15. I only know that because I was...

I had a personality once upon a time. I thought that it belonged to me... till I realized... It was not really mine. This...

“I was reading about MBTI yesterday”, I tell my wife Elizabeth. MBTI is the Meters-Briggs Type Indicator, a system for sorting...

‘What do you mean I don’t try? I’ve been called the most trying person that ever lived.’ Today I will climb over a fence, the barbed wire at the top is a bother, so I leave my clothes strung over it. It is a bit chilly, lucky my undies don’t snag or the cold weather would be quite evident. Running onto the tarmac isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Gee, those dogs can run fast. Lucky I got to the baggage truck in time. Only one nip on my left heel. Those carts aren’t so f

Rain has no conscience shows no fear Displays no love… Is not a living thing. Effects not to condemn… not to judge…. Simply falls from a...

Cloud curtained winter I lose my way in thicket without leaving home.

A pub discussion ‘Up to my bloody armpits. It doesn’t bloody stop. Everywhere you look is his face. Just like his sister ole Horseface. He is everywhere! Since his mum finally dies – and thank Godfrey for that – he is on all things. I tell you what, I’m not going to lick the back of his head. It was bad inuff with his Gerry mum let alone his tree-hugging bald spotted noggin.’ ‘Did you see that red pain thing? It looked like it had been defaced by protestors before it was

Will it ever stop? The Mexican Volcano Rabbits scurried into their burrows. It was torrential and it wasn’t meant to be. Their floating volcano drifted around the Caribbean ever since it was spat off the main continent due to its over effusive gurgling, belching and smoking. The volcano itself felt slightly rejected and if it hadn’t been for the Mexican Volcano Rabbits, forthwith known as MVR’s, it would have finally blown its top and made North America feel its wrath. But th

‘He’s off the rails.’ ‘You really need to rein him in.’ ‘Rein in? How? I don’t have any say here.’ ‘You have a say when he spends half the annual budget on flying a speaker in from Germany.’ ‘That was a bit crazy.’ ‘Crazy? I was the one who had to host him for a week. Brian just told me it was happening and that was that.’ ‘Bit irresponsible.’ ‘The other group members don’t know what to make of it. I think no-one quite feels they can say anything.’ She sips her

I am the rainwoman of the tribe, the one who thrives as it pours, comes to life in the sodden condensation and liquid moving earth. It’s...

Where am I? I looked around me. Cabbages everywhere! WHAT? This is ridiculous! Where am I? What am I doing amongst so many cabbages? I don’t understand… Ohhhhh, woe is me! The cabbages beside me smile and their little cabbage eyes crinkle up. What? They’re alive? That’s absurd. The sky is dark. Dark grey. It takes all the blue out of the light and everything appears brighter and more vibrant. I stare to the heavens and try to understand what I’m doing with all these brigh

Far away in a distant land the most prized of all things were their cabbages. The cabbages were spectacular and were grown in all colours...