(3 mins) Tall… T a l l -Mayfield is 20 minutes away oh no. -The dish washing Man. -He will not wait in this heat. -slowly wait. -Do you...

Anyone ever had a friend or relative who told so many tall stories that you were never sure whether the story was true or fabricated. If...

(3 mins) An exaggerated situation. An unbelievable plot, insane characters, shock events. Mystery, subterfuge. A massive ‘didn’t see it...

Shorties (3 mins) SO shorties, just like miniskirts? No they’re called ‘SMALLS’. Not for little people – little clothing! What, for...

Once upon a time there was a hunting dog, a fat old man and a school teacher. They didn’t know each other until one day they all rode in...

In the beginning, there was milk. Then the Great Chef dropped in some vinegar, and lo, the milk did separate. And after that, the Great Chef took aside the curds, and there was a great straining, and a salting, and a pressing, and after due time for reflection, there was cheese. And all saw that it was well. Since then many things have changed, substances sublimated and altered, but in honour of this event, to this day the moon is still made of cheese. The benefits of the G

Dishes in the sink! Garbage on the floor! Clothes scattered here and there! Who could ask for more? Me... I think... And soon! Before I...

Me! No me! It was… Surely not? I’m sure it wasn’t… Yellow! Yellow? Why are we talking about colours? Did Roger do it? Roger? Roger! Who...

‘Argh!’ ‘What’s up now? Hey watch out, you’re hitting a whole lot of keys there, it’s confused now.’ ‘I know the file is on there somewhere. I just can’t find it.’ ‘You tried the Search function?’ She eyes him balefully. Then redirects her gaze to the screen. ‘I can’t remember what I saved the file as. Word won’t search like Acrobat, more’s the pity.’ ‘So, if you knew what the name was, you’d be good?’ ‘Of course.’ ‘Hmm.’ He stares into the distance philosophically. ‘What oth

Always wanted to be called “Bradley.” Don’t know why but “Bradley Bandicoot” always ‘flows’ for me. My parents’ birth-named me “Marmaduke”. Having that yelled out as a cooee allowed all the other bush creatures to titter and giggle. When you have a long snout and often get mistaken for a water rat, having a silly long name sets you up for ‘their’ jibes and guffaws. So, I have settled on “Bradley”! The alliteration of BB has a certain ring to it, in my ears. I remember,

My name was Mark Smith. Mark Smith! Did my parents have no imagination? No time for me? For crying out loud – they must have know that I...

Blessed Spirit Well... What name have you chosen? Is this, then, your new disguise? 'Sunflower'? 'Moonbeam'? 'Earth-Child'? Which one won...

We’re on holiday in Spain. Elizabeth’s business partner Damien owns a holiday villa on a golf course here. It’s set up as a holiday...

“Singlas, I want Singlas.” He squirmed in his seat on the back of the shopping trolley, reaching out for the single bananas. He knew he could have those now and not wait for his mum to feed him at home. “Yellow, I want a yellow.” His mum grabbed a big one, knowing it would keep him quiet for a little while. She peeled it and shoved it into his dark pink sticky hands. He almost choked jamming it down his own throat, making ‘num num num’ noises as he chewed it and made chub

In the immortal words of the Iranian midwife who delivered my sister, who was also our landlady, ‘the baby is yelloooow’. In other words, she was jaundiced. The physical ailment did not last long in the Middle Eastern climes, but the twists and vagaries of the next forty-odd years left a distinctly jaundiced hue on interactions between the two of us. Causal factors included evasive, not to mention cowardly, tactics of some others of our nearest and dearests, which yellow stre

In the town where I was born lived a lady with grey hair. And she lived a life of ease in a little blue canoe. The sound of many voices...

Running along the jungle path I was wet, tired, sore, thirsty. My feet and head were pounding. The vines lashed my face, tear-stained and...

I swing the car into the McDonald's drive-thru. I’ve just got Max from school. I’ve had too many customers today, and no lunch because...

Following the polar cap melt, although the ocean temperature took a plunge resulting the restoration of reefs around the world, new...

On the 2nd of June 1702, Anne Bramble, originally of Parson’s Lane, Shoreditch, lodged a complaint to the local magistrate that Tom Berridge, of 24 Chancery Lane, had ‘harassed and tormented her through relentless pursuit for the past twelvemonth, such that she was not able to stir abroad without his shadow haunting her, and she knew not what to do.’ Berridge is noted as vehemently denying this accusation, stating that ‘Their butchers and milliners being the same, by chance,