If you’re an online influencer there’s no respite from the tyranny of posting. Every situation dissolves into a potential source of content. You can never stop stoking that fitful flame of public interest. Stop posting and the followers die down, and so does your income. How many ways can you film your budgie? How many recipes with rage-bait mistakes can you make? How many clothes can you ‘style’ before you start losing your mind and wearing three skirts at once: one as a ski

It is Bonn’s job to prepare his meals, with help from Puter, who has 10,000 recipes stored and the skills of old-world Michelin Chefs. Bonn always wears a mask when preparing BlueMelons and is heavily discouraged from eating more than a quarter daily. He has found Budda-finger Lemon look-alikes that, when dried, have a crisp umami flavour. They are carnivorous fruit-plants that drag small reptiles in with their tentacle fingers. The meat is often ScareyCat roasted in a pe