Dribble – Ricci Schwarzler

The members gathered for the Annual General Meeting. Bored faces stared around the room. Scared faces looked down at their phone, by way of avoiding any eye contact which might lead to a role on the Board. Least seen the better.

The overzealous Secretary started the meeting. Was this protocol? Who knew, and quite frankly, who cared. Nobody.

At a very high decibel the meeting started, time taken, apologies given and minutes read. Boring.

The Secretary started on about the lack of interest in Board positions and how he was deeply disappointed. He assured the members that he would LOVE to step down, but as usual nobody wanted to devote themselves to the club, and the role, like he did.

His wife sat in the front row, nodding vigorously to show her undying support. Unfortunately for the rest of the members, this only encouraged him. Buoyed on, he continued. He dribbled on explaining that his role and that of the other members were important and requiring people of stoic, Imperturbable, stolid, unflappable and lastly a longanimous nature.

Good grief, he must have just Thesaurused one word and put in every meaning…Fool.  Was he running for Prime Minister? Even a Prime Minister couldn’t match what was needed for the Bovington Amateur Hamster Breeder’s Association, inaugurated as long ago as January of the current year.

The dribble lasted a very long time. At the end of it, bored faces look relieved and clapped enthusiastically, even though they all well knew that it would only encourage him for the next meeting. However, they were so happy to hear the end of his droning that they took the risk, hopefully determined to have something else on, when the next meeting came about.

As the Secretary finally sat down, full of self-importance and admiration for his own abilities, the President took the microphone with some difficulty, from his grip. She was about to start listing the positions and who was running…again…for each, when three people stood up. Taken aback she gave them the floor.

Surprisingly for all at the AGM, they put in late nominations for the positions of Secretary, Treasurer and Vice President. The Secretary sat in stunned disbelief. The President quickly accepted the nominations, and the Secretary grabbed the microphone and burst out with a tirade of objections. After four minutes the microphone was finally dislodged from his grasp. He sat down all a bluster.

The President quickly took votes on the positions and the new board was sworn in. The exiting Secretary sat for a full fifteen minutes after the meeting was over in confounded silence. His dutiful wife bringing him numerous cups of tea because she didn’t exactly know what else to do. When she finally, in a bid of desperation, brought over his favourite hamster, he looked at her and burst into tears. She walked him out with everyone patting him on the back. Unfortunately, they knew their actions would only encourage him but the Bovington Amateur Hamster Breeder members were an empathetic lot. They had to be, they bred hamsters, which we all know are just another type of rodent.