Fingerprints - Carol Gano

The guitar and dulcimer are fabulous portable stringed instruments to play at jam sessions with others. The dulcimer is a 4-6 stringed lap instrument the Canadian singer-songwriter Joni Mitchell made popular in the 1970’s on her album, BLUE. Originally a Kentucky hillbilly-associated instrument, she mutated it to new heights by changing the strings’ tunings. However, playing these instruments over time, calluses and blisters that obscure fingerprints. Fingerprints, made much worse by hobbies that build up fingerprint crevasses such as natural dying of fabrics. As, what hasn’t been worn away by music, is coated with crimson, aquamarine and Japanese ever-present blue, indigo. All this is usually tres insignificant – except, if you are a resident alien of Australia and put a “toe out-of-line” according to just one of the millions of USA laws.

I was living my life, happy and self-sufficient until I accidently riled the Americans. That I committed a felony, unintentionally, still meant I needed my fingerprints taken at the American offices in Sydney. Then they’d run them through their data base on criminals and if I was found to be debased, would suffer the consequences of being found out.

But no, the letter sent to me in Newcastle, NSW originally told me to immediately front up in Sydney. Typical, no other contact details and an ominous warning of a past time period; it ended yesterday. How is it that no matter the situation, the Americans always seem to make unreasonable demands? Well, after my immediate response, a two-hour trip, I only then learned that due to their refurbishment of their 23rd floor vista view offices, they were closed, as posted on the building door. It told me to refer all American citizen needs, directly to the Canberra consulate, in person. Ok.

Three hours’ drive later, I arrived, only to learn that they too had closed early that day for the week-end. Come back Tuesday. They are always closed to visitors on Mondays.

So, yet again the US government inexcusably doesn’t think about its citizens. Forethought is definitely not their forte!

I slept in my car, went to the amazing free Canberra art galleries, tried to restrict spending and fronted up Tuesday at 10 am. They took my fingerprints. Laughed at the charges, reconfirmed my opinion that the staff of the Sydney offices were mainly concerned with the wealthy American Business Cliental Party scene and told me to forget the Sydney office letter foreboding of imprisonment, deportation and the need to mandatorily engage an expensive American lawyer in Oz, which, of course, ten options had been provided in their return “Home”, do not pass go, do not collect $100 letter.

Why can’t I get it in my head, even after 30 years? I still fall for all their hoop jumping demands. The truth is, occasionally, though very rarely, they will prosecute, they are vindictive and still believe “America, Love it or Leave it”. BUT, most importantly, if you do leave, expect the Sydney branch of the American government will treat you as a “persona non-grata” and always be ready to ask how high to jump, when told it’s time again to jump!