Michael Collins - Whale

‘A whale walked into a bar…’ began Jonathan.

‘No… no… no… you can’t start a joke like that.’

‘What… Has if been done before?’

A withering look preceded Jennifer’s dry response…

(After the few seconds... she gave him time to think about it… )

“Whales don’t have legs…”

“It’s a joke, Jennifer… Like poets have poetic license. Comedians have … um… Comedic license…”

“Well ... my dear… The first thing people will notice is that… like I said… whales don’t have legs!

Then what follows will be lost on whatever audience is out there. You will get part way through

the joke and some smart-arse out there will go: Whales don’t have legs, mate, then everyone will laugh at that … Anyway, go on …  What’s the rest of it?”

Jonathan was mightily not pleased with that little speech, and even less happy when Jennifer let him know just how unfunny his actual, completed  joke was.

“Well, you came up with one, Jennifer. See how you go…”

Jennifer considered the moment. She thought about their so-called honeymoon on board that ship that crashed into whatever the name of that beach was… On whatever the name of that Greek island was… And the slippery slide that was the rest of their  (again) so-called marriage.

For two stand-up comedians it was all quite sad, really… But whales were the subject so she thought long and hard and decided that she had the perfect joke… She smirked to herself... And began...

“A whale swims into a bar”

Jonathan, with a long groan, hit his head against the nearest bench.