Ricci Schwarzler - Absence

We waited and waited…and waited and waited. His absence was noted and noted…and noted. Why were we always waiting for him?

His importance was great…in his own mind. His constant absence was great in our minds.

‘What a cock’ Mike said.

‘I’m over it’, Caroline said.

‘He’s a Pratt’, Jean said.

We all fell quiet and waited some more.

‘Why are we waiting?’ Elle queried.

‘Because he has the key.’

‘Oh right.’

‘Well, let’s just break in.’

‘Ok’, they all chimed.

They pulled off the break-in without a hitch.

In actual fact the door was unlocked so Elle just turned the handle.

There stood Daniel hands and legs akimbo. Looking just like the cock Mike mentioned.

‘What the hell?’ Mike jumped back in surprise.

‘Hello everyone’, bellowed Daniel, in importance.

‘Welcome to Westpac! Here’s your bags. I’ve unlocked the poor excuse for a safe, so help yourselves and don’t forget to put your gloves on.’

They loaded up money, jewels, more money, and more jewels.

‘Ooo look, Deeds to a house.’

‘Cool.’

When the timer went off, they vacated. They close the safe door and left the building.

When they got to the cafe, they ordered lunch and then tipped out their winnings on the table.

‘Woo hoo’, said Jean.

‘This is awesome’, said Mike.

‘Okay divvy up.’

‘Hang on where’s Daniel?’

They all looked at each other.

‘I don’t know.’

‘I thought he followed us out.’

Silence.

‘Well, he’s fucking absent again’, exclaimed Jean.

Caroline grinned a kind of wicked, evil grin.

‘Yes he is’, said Caroline.

‘What, where is he?’

‘In the safe.’

‘What?’

‘How?’

‘I locked him in’, she stated calmly.

‘Oh shit’, Mike stammered, ‘he’ll get caught and give us away.’

‘No, he won’t’, said Caroline confidently.

They continued divvying up the spoils.

The next day in the police interview room the detective asked the names of his accomplishes. Daniel sat in stunned silence.

He stammered, ‘I don’t know.’

‘Oh come on’, the detective said in exasperation. She sat back and stared at him.

‘Um, there were four of them.’

‘Yes, names.’

‘I don’t know. I’m always absent and I don’t hear their names. I never bother to listen.’