Ricci Schwarzler - Guy

Cath our boss, walked in to the office and said,

‘Can one of you guys talk to Mark when he comes in today, about the job in Tamworth please? We need to ensure he has the crane sorted?’

I didn’t see anything wrong with what she said and just got on with my work waiting for Mark to turn up. Everybody else (of which we are all female) did the same.

A bit later on Mark the client walked in and said,

‘Morning guys Cath told me I need to fill someone in on the issues with the crane.’

I was about to get up and go through it with him, when Jess next to me sprang to her feet and with a nasty tone said,

’Guys… guys? Have you not noticed that we’re all women? What is so hard about not referring to women as guys? How typical of a man to presume everyone including women are guys. I am deeply offended that you call us guys and it’s about time you stopped it.’

With this, Mark stood there dumbfounded. We all lifted our heads from our computers and sat there with mouths ajar!

Poor Mark he didn’t know what to say and we were all stunned.

Mark started to stutter and apologise and was truly remorseful and sad. I was furious that she had put Mark in this position with her self-righteous opinion. So in unison we all started to berate the high and mighty Jess.

‘Jess obviously you don’t know that the term ‘Guy’ is Old French for ‘guide or lead’, said Keveena.

‘Yeah back off Jess. It’s also a colloquial term in the plural for a group of people, albeit an Americanism…which I despise…but I like Mark so back off!’ Ricciota’s argument didn’t make a lot of sense so I ignored it and I jumped in with,

‘Mark there is no need to apologise. The rest of us, as you can see do not feel the same way as Jess, and quite frankly Jess, why was it good enough for Cath to call us guys? I think you’re being discriminatory and need to stop being so precious and controlling.’ With this the rest of the Office staff started shaking their heads and telling Jess to back off.

Jess was presuming that the rest of her female comrades would feel the same way and back her up, she was furious.

I continued with,

‘You have a bloody cheek Jess talking on behalf of all. It seems to me this Office may not be the best place for you. We don’t berate our clients like that and the best thing would’ve been to bring your concern to me as your manager.’

‘Well if that’s how it is in this office next time I’ll do just that’ Jess stated indignantly.

‘Oh don’t worry about that Jess’ I advised, ‘There won’t be a next time I’m giving you a DCM’.

‘What? What’s a DCM?’

‘It’s something I can do because you’re still on probation. It’s called a Don’t Come Monday. Please pack up your things and leave.’

Jess looked stunned and mortified. She grabbed her bag and walked out the door.

Thank goodness for probation periods I thought to myself!

The next time Mark came into the office, with a cheeky smile he said, ‘Morning Women!’

We all laughed and threw things at him, mainly rubbers but Keveena’s pencil nearly took his eye out!  But he kindly pretended it wasn’t so bad an injury and would get some stitches later. He then produced an awesome cake, which we had for morning tea, once Ricciota brought him back from the hospital.