Ricci Schwarzler - Sorry

‘I’m sorry for not doing everything you asked when you asked it. I’m sorry I didn’t put the car in the garage exactly how you wanted it, even though it was exactly where you put it last time. I’m sorry I don’t calculate numbers in the exact method that you do, even though we still come to the same result. I’m sorry I don’t dress up better when we go out even though you wear the most ridiculous and inappropriate old clothes. I’m sorry I don’t agree with the same things as you, even when we do agree and you‘re still arguing over it. I’m sorry I don’t idolise you the way you expect. I’m sorry I don’t want you in my space, even though you’ve been a misery all day and every day, day after day. I’m sorry I don’t think your family are amazing, even though they are nasty, conceited people whom nobody in the village likes. I’m sorry I put the cyanide in your coffee. Actually, no I’m not sorry. Suck eggs. I’m not sorry you won’t get the funeral you want and finally I am sorry that I wasted all my life with you even though I’ve already found somebody better.