Ricci Schwarzler - Unleashed

Through a particularly brilliant piece of thinking she brought in the idea of outsourcing the reproduction of flora. What she didn’t need was for trees and plants to move about. She had considered it, but it would unfortunately disrupt some of her other terrific designs, particularly mycelium and other creepy crawlies that lived under the plants…and cicadas (for which she had not yet come up with a purpose and probably never would).

She’d create something called wind. It would be invisible so it would mystify things forever, and it would blow small pieces of stuff across the land and the sea, which would land on the Earth somewhere, and grow into yet another piece of flora.

Instantly she had another idea, she would create things that could move from the earth into the air via small flappy things, because they would be attracted to the plants. They would eat something, which she had not yet invented; then fly off and deposit that ‘something’ out of their backside, which again she had not yet invented; but the ‘something’ would grow into a bit of flora.

She was quite chuffed with these ideas even though she realised they did need refinement and she had to come up with some clever naming ideas. 

She was able to do this entire designing process totally on her own and she was happy doing so. However sometimes it was interrupted by a thing which wasn’t from her invention. It just happened to arrive on the scene and it called itself…God. It clearly didn’t have much imagination, since God was just Dog backwards, which was one of her inventions.

This God was full of arrogance and tried to push in on her designs and did manage from time to time to interfere without her knowledge. She would get to the point where everything was designed fairly and she would put it to the side while she worked on something else, but unfortunately this God would sneak in and add features of its own making. It would manipulate her designs because it narcissistically thought its ideas were better.

It wasn’t until she put each part into full production that she realised this God had interfered. She came to the realisation that it wasn’t like herself, it was violent and cruel.

One particularly heinous interference related to her Tasmanian devil. Instead of the female Tasmanian devil finding her own mate, God manipulated the design so that a fatty lump appeared behind her neck which would be full of a drug that made her docile. Any male would then grab her take her to his burrow, where he would rape her, and still docile, numerous other males would come in and do the same.

To say that Mother Nature was horrified was an understatement. Her wrath was unleashed and that was certainly not a good thing. Her fury created floods to fill up the burrows of the males and as she discovered the other interference, manipulation and sabotage from this God she whipped up even more fury in the form of drought, earthquakes, tsunamis, blizzards and any other form of disaster she could come up with.

She knew the ‘Humans’, which God had designed, without her approval, were of a stupid nature, because they were made in God’s image i.e. arrogance and stupidity. Therefore, it was a small loss to have them caught up in her furies. She insured that most of her designs would have the ability to know when a disaster was coming and get out of its way, hide, or stand firm.

Only God’s humans would be substantially affected and being designed in his arrogant image, they would assume that only something as supreme as their God could create anything as powerful as disasters. Mother Nature created a small hack into the Humans so they would call her furies ‘an act of God’ and he would unfairly be blamed forever.

Mother Nature is proud of the furies she designed…all by her little self. What a clever little lady she is.