Tall Tales - Vesna McMaster

(3 mins)

The roo stood tall in the grass. ‘This is how you pretend to be a stump,’ she told her joey.

Joey could not sit still.

His ears twitched.

He looked over his shoulder.

The human turned their head.

‘Look, kangaroos!’

‘Way to go, Joey. Way to go.’ She leaned back on her tail.

A tale of marsupial parental disappointment.

 (17 mins)

‘I felt I was being thrown off a cliff. It was terrible. I can’t believe they did that to me.’

‘Really?’

He looked dismally down at his hands in his lap, and nodded.

‘What happened exactly?’

‘They said my girlfriend was fat.’

‘Really?’

He nods.

‘They said your girlfriend’s fat?’

‘They said she looks like Renee Zellweger.’

‘Is Renee Zellweger fat?’

‘I don’t know. It’s insulting. It’s hurtful.’

‘Does she look like Renee Zellweger?’

‘That’s not the point! You shouldn’t make comments on people’s appearance. It’s very disrespectful. I feel absolutely traumatised.’

‘What does your girlfriend look like?’

‘She’s beautiful. What do you want? Are you even listening?’

‘Yes but what’s she like? I’ve never seen a picture. (Pause) I’m sure she’s very nice. Just curious.’

‘She’s not fat. They insulted me.’

‘Surely they were talking about her?’

‘It’s all about me. It’s a judgement on me. They think I’m the sort of person who has fat girlfriends.’

(Pause.) ‘Was she there?’

‘No! It doesn’t matter. They shouldn’t have said that. It’s all about me.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘So abusive. I absolutely hate them. You should too.’

‘You’re quite sure?’

‘Yes. And I feel alone and vulnerable.’

(Pause.) ‘OK, well I can see you feel very bad. I’m very sorry about that. What can we do about it?’

‘How about you don’t text them like you normally do on Mondays. That would send a message. That would make me feel better.

‘OK. One text won’t hurt. Hope you feel better.’