Ricci Schwarzler - Raise

You raise me up to soar with eagles. I look down and think, ‘what the hell am I doing here?’

I see a flock of crows coming towards me like a squadron of attack jets. I’m out of here. It’s interesting that you think so highly of yourself that you think YOU raise me up!

I don’t need to be raised up by you. I have raised myself. If I want anymore raising it certainly won’t be with a bunch of eagles about to get attacked by crows. If anything…if I have to pick an animal, it certainly wouldn’t be an eagle. I’d be a lizard. So I don’t  have to soar, but I could lie around in the sun all day not expending any energy, just soaking up those rays until I was energised, so I could wake up the next morning, and soak up some more rays.

Everyone wants to be an eagle…boring, or a dolphin. Eagles pounce on little cute bunnies and dolphins rape the female dolphins! What the hell are people thinking.

What about a cockroach? You’d at least survive a nuclear holecaust. If the Mortein didn’t get you first.

What about a zebra? Nice classic use of black and white. A chameleon? Changing colours like we change clothes, most convenient. Or an octopus, surely those extra legs would come in handy.

Hang on. A shark! No nonsense, straight to business. Eat a few seals, surfers. Power, stealth and speed. Yep I’ve changed my mind, I’ll be a shark. Then I won’t have to be raised up because I’ll BE the apex predator…and I’m coming for you!